It’s easy to feel like you’re moving at the wrong pace. But by letting go of comparison and embracing your natural rhythm, you can find peace in the journey. Discover how to trust your own speed and move through life with greater self-acceptance.
Imagine you’re travelling a route, heading in one direction but it’s divided in two. Perhaps you see a pair of bush paths, or the sun-streaked lanes of a highway. You might be moving along a swimming pool or athletics track.
Wherever you are, one section is fast and the other is slow. Now ask yourself the question – which lane are you in? Whether you see yourself as a zoomer or plodder, the way your true self navigates life is right for you.
However, society’s constant comparison matrix can make you feel as if whichever lane you’re in is the wrong one. Yet switching carriageways doesn’t work – being in the wrong lane is a barrier to self-acceptance, tailgated by that inner sense that you’ll never manage to get it right.
The pressure to speed up
Perhaps, like me, you’re a natural slow mover. You like to take your time, getting to your destination in the end. You enjoy the details of life, the intricate parts that make up the whole. But the world is a fast-moving, often impatient place, and it’s easy to pick up on messages that you’re going at the wrong pace: You’re too slow. Hurry up! Maybe, like me, you’ve tried to speed into a faster lane and experienced the consequences of believing you’re too slow: a subconscious sense of danger, showing up as an adrenaline-driven racing heart.
The push to slow down
On the other hand, some people are naturally swifter types. Maybe you’re one – a big-picture person who goes large, feeling at home travelling in what others call the fast lane. This, too, isn’t a problem, although you might not believe it from the plethora of well-meaning advice telling you it’s better to slow down. So, if you’ve ever told yourself you’re too speedy, or that you should stop and smell the roses, then you’ve internalised the wrongness message as much as any natural tortoise. To ants, humans are ponderous giants, while to a 1,000-year-old tree we must seem quick-beetling things – perhaps within our own species we also all have different perspectives when it comes to time.
Owning the lane you’re in
Rather than comparing your speed or slowness to others, imagine instead that your lane is perfect for you – in fact, you’re going at a steady medium, the pace you need to, smelling the roses however fast or slow you move. This is your core nature, whether you’re travelling a tree-lined path or a tarmacked freeway. So, keep your focus, ignore the rest of us going at a different pace, and own the lane you’re in.
How to go your way
- If you’ve ever felt too fast or too slow, or paid attention to the speed of others, accept that others perceive time differently, and that’s OK.
- Then acknowledge the possibility that you’re in the right lane.
- Next, take pride in where you are and relish the contentment that comes from going at the perfect pace for you.
- Write a note in big letters saying “I’M IN THE RIGHT LANE”, and stick it somewhere you’ll see. It might just be the affirmation you need.
