Discover why it’s positively OK to be your less-than-best self
“Be your best self” is a refrain beloved of social-media quote posts. It encourages us – at least in theory – not only to raise the bar, but to somersault over it. It’s a call to get up off that couch and present a shiny, successful you to the world.
Yet whenever I hear that saying I immediately want to remain firmly reclined, spoon in one hand, jar of Nutella in the other. Because the truth is, I don’t know who my best self is. Maybe she’s a benevolent millionaire who never leaves home with toothpaste on her top? Whatever, she feels far from me.
There’s nothing wrong with encouragement, and perhaps you, like many others, find it helpful. It’s good to know we’re all in a process of personal development, and there’s always more to learn. But to me, the idea of a best self resembles a phantom cousin you’re always being compared to – the one who, as you’re often told, does what you
do, but so much better. You could say “best” is the last stop on the road, a vision of nirvana you’ll never reach. A lifetime’s not long enough to get yourself done, and if you take best as your aim, you’ll inevitably fall short.
However, acknowledging you’re always less than you could be is not only getting real, it’s optimistic. To know there’s further to go is to recognise the joyfulness of the journey, the limitless potential that exists in all of us. But deciding you should be the best version of yourself is a fast track to perfectionism, where there’s an eye on the goal rather than the experience.
The answer, perhaps, is to embrace your less-than-best self. That’s the version of you who’s one step below perfect; who focuses on self-care without guilt; who uses the power of yes and no, without always getting it right; and who believes in yourself – but still has the occasional wobble.
A less-than-best self is the person you almost are, with just a stretch out of your comfort zone. It’s a leap you can see, a risk worth taking, a you that’s less golden, perhaps more copper. You’re not on a remote horizon, you’re within arm’s reach, the version of you that isn’t perfect – because whoever is? You’re aware there’s more stuff in life you’d like to do.
The nearly-you isn’t at the end of the road – it’s the road itself. It’s the version of you who pushes yourself to learn and grow, while rejecting a high-achievement mentality. The you who gives support, not a comparison that leaves you found wanting. I don’t know about you, but I’ve a feeling I might get on with my less-than-best self – in a way, she’s not so different from me.
How to embrace your less-than-best self:
- In what areas of your life would you like to evolve?
- Resist the temptation to envision the perfect you at the end of that journey.
- See your true self, with a few helpful habits added on.
- Plot the steps that will take you in the right direction.
- Move outside your comfort zone, but not so far you can’t see where you started.
- Make friends with your less-than-best self. Enjoy their company. You two have a lot in common, after all.
