Discover the four questions that can help you to work through any problem, goal, or decision.
When faced with tough choices in life, it’s common to feel worried or even paralysed. Committing to a new course of action can bring up concerns about what might happen if things don’t work out as planned. Yet not taking steps to move forward with an idea can feel equally problematic. In cases of inner conflict, where the change brings a perceived threat or uncertainty, humans are biologically programmed to maintain the status quo – even when staying put isn’t a good place to be.
A mindful approach to inner conflict
There are, however, ways out of the stasis. One comes in the form of Cartesian questions, via neuro-linguistic programming (NLP).
This way of asking questions offers a powerful and effective tool for challenging resistance to change, assessing the viability of actions, and exploring new perspectives. So called because they’re based on a mathematical model created by French philosopher and mathematician René Descartes, in which a theory must be proven four different ways, Cartesian questions provide a way of challenging inner thinking, uncovering limiting beliefs, and finding new perspectives and possibilities. So, whether you’re struggling with a decision, wrestling with a problem, or unsure how to make progress towards a goal, answering these questions can bring clarity and insight.
How to use these questions for clarity
Step 1 – Write your goal or decision as a clearly defined statement
This might be: ‘Quit my job as a teacher and start my own floristry business’ or ‘Retrain as a psychiatrist’ or ‘Remove myself from a toxic relationship’.
Step 2 – Work through each of the four Cartesian questions as outlined on the opposite page
They might seem repetitive but stick with the process. Notice the subtle differences between them. For each question, write as much as you can and keep asking yourself ‘What else?’. It can also help to return to the exercise a few times before you make your decision.
The 4 questions that bring insight
Q1. What WOULD happen if you DID make that change?
This question will help you to imagine what could happen if you went ahead. Take time to fully explore and flesh out your idea.
For example, a person leaving their current job to start a business might write:
- I would have a more flexible lifestyle
- I would be my own boss
- I would be doing a job that I love
- I might open myself up to the possibility of earning more
- I would lose the security of a regular wage
- I might have to work harder
- I would be able to make my own decisions
- I could choose who I work with
- I could work from home
Q2. What WOULD happen if you DIDN’T make that change?
This will help you to examine how you feel about staying exactly as you are. It can be emotional. What would it be like if nothing were to change in this situation?
Take time to explore all the possibilities.
The hypothetical entrepreneur might answer:
- I would continue doing a job I don’t enjoy
- I would continue earning the same wage
- I would regret not giving it a go
- I would have superannuation contributions and paid annual leave
- I would feel increasingly bored and frustrated
- I would continue to spend hours commuting
Q3. What WOULDN’T happen if you DID make that change?
This question can help identify – and assess – the potential pitfalls and problems the change might bring.
It’s great for troubleshooting. Getting your fears and worries down on paper can make it easier to evaluate the risks.
The budding business owner might say:
- I wouldn’t have a regular salary
- I wouldn’t feel bored
- I wouldn’t have to commute
- I wouldn’t have paid holidays
- I wouldn’t starve or become homeless because I have some savings, and I can always find another job later if it doesn’t work out
- I wouldn’t have to wonder, what if?
Q4. What WOULDN’T happen if you DIDN’T make that change?
This question scrambles the brain, which can disrupt thinking and bring fresh insight. It’s normal to have to re-read the question over and over to understand it. Stick with it, though – confusion often precedes a breakthrough.
Having scratched their head a few times, the individual dreaming of being their own boss might come up with:
- I wouldn’t have the chance to give my dream a shot
- I wouldn’t be authentically me
- I wouldn’t respect myself
- I wouldn’t be the best example I can be to my family
- I wouldn’t find a lifestyle that works for me
Next steps to help you decide
Step 3 – Reflect on your answers
What is your initial reaction to the process?
Asking yourself the following questions is one way to answer this:
- Did you find it challenging?
- Is there anything you now want to take a deeper look at?
- What’s the main thing holding you back?
- Do you feel more or less motivated towards your goal?
- Did anything surprise you?
- How are your values – things that are important to you – reflected here?
- Have your responses provided any insight?
Step 4 – Challenge your responses
It’s likely that you’ve uncovered fears, hopes, and beliefs. It can help to underline or highlight those that resonate most with you. For example, a person considering studying for a new qualification might be afraid they’ll fail, and it’d all be a waste of time and money.
Someone considering starting their own business might have expressed concerns about funding. They might worry they’ll be unable to pay their bills and could face financial uncertainty. It’s worth challenging the positive beliefs as well as the limiting ones to make sure they’re robust. If you are forecasting positive results, do you have good reasons for this optimism? It’s important to keep the process balanced.
The recovery questions, below, will help you to challenge any unfounded fears, recognise areas of the plan that need further development, and find new ways forward:
- Is that really true?
- How likely is that really?
- Is there anything I can do to make that less/more likely?
Step 5 – Make a decision
Having considered the options from several perspectives, you’re now in a better position to make a decision.
Besides establishing facts, challenging limiting beliefs and perhaps generating some innovative solutions, you might also have a gut feeling about what you should do now. Whichever decision you make is likely to feel more considered and more aligned as you move forward.
