For some, it's always only one extreme or the other - is there really no room for compromise and embracing the nuances of life?
Black-and-white thinking
How do you perceive the world? Can you see everything clearly – the challenges as well as the opportunities – or is there only what you want to see? In other words, is your vision broad and all-encompassing, or restrictive and one-sided?
Those who think in black-and-white terms tend to view everything in an oversimplified, unambiguous way – there might be good and bad but there’s no room for so-so. And they don’t half-do things. They’re either passionate, giving it their all, or not bothering, because, deep down, they feel – to put it bluntly – a task is a waste of time and energy. They prefer to save their efforts for what matters, what they think is achievable and will have a positive effect. The rest isn’t worthy of a second glance.
Of course, pre-selecting tasks to avoid ambiguous and uncertain goals can be a useful thought pattern, but it may also lead to opportunities being dismissed too quickly. Is it a fault, however, to ignore risky options or is it wise to focus on those with more potential? After all, a person might have the ability to simplify reality, perceptions and experiences, but life is more complex. It can’t be broken down into neat categories because it’s not black and white. It’s full of shades of grey.
Life is not binary
Because it is completely rich with nuances, life deserves more than an impulsive, oversimplistic view. Try to notice all the opportunities on off er and think twice. It’s not straightforward but, with practise, it can become possible. And even if you don’t succeed, take it as a chance to learn and grow. Try not to focus too much on the goal and think more on the way to get it.
Black-and-white thinking can also negatively affect relationships and hold people back from living a full life. True, others can run faster (so logically there’s no chance of winning the race); are better organisers (so there’s no point in volunteering to manage the project); or are much better at telling a joke (so let’s leave them the spotlight). There are many reasons why you won’t be the best in a situation… but it doesn’t mean you can’t contribute to its success. Look objectively at the wider picture, analyse the situation again and try to identify areas of the middle ground where you might find your place. It can bring another perspective and, ultimately, turn myriad greys into a rainbow of possibilities.
Distorted reality?
Thinking in absolutes can be emotionally damaging, as a person might go from being great one minute to their life “being ruined” the next. Black-and-white thinking, also called dichotomous thinking or splitting, can even turn into a mental trap: having only two options limits a person’s range of actions while at the same time intensifying thoughts and feelings. In the long-term, it can affect appreciation for life, so try to reframe such thinking by breaking the habit and bringing back the centre ground and balance. Let’s say, for instance, that you’ve just turned 40, and a colleague or friend has commented that you’re now “old”.
That doesn’t necessarily make them a bad person, but possibly an insensitive one (and definitely inaccurate). French-Cuban American diarist Anaïs Nin said that: ‘We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are’ because reality is what you make of it after all.
Power of perception
Each person possesses a unique set of filters through which they see the world. This perception defines the (subjective) reality and forms the foundation of a person’s world. Your perception of today is influenced by your memories, values, beliefs and environment. It’s a filtering system that helps the conscious mind process the mountain of information it’s faced with. The brain actually sees far more than what it allows people to register, largely using self-constructed filters to limit the constant barrage of information. But if these filters are constructed to select some elements while ignoring others, they can also distort the overall view. After all, parameters change, and filters may need recalibrating for an optimal and balanced field of vision.
If you change the structure of your perception, you also change the structure of your world. These pointers may help you to make those perceptual changes:
- Try excluding absolute words from your vocabulary.
- Limit time with people for whom there are only extremes.
- Think beyond the narrow constructs of success and failure.
- Put aside your negative internal voice. And always remember that you hold the power to transform the world from black and white into glorious colour
