Is there merit to the faded hues of anger?
I’m learning about anger as a colour in the palette of human emotions. I’m learning that it’s important to acknowledge it, and with acknowledgement comes the chance of a healthy, nurturing release. I get that this is vital, because anger is engrossing and unpredictable. It’s storm-massed clouds and hearts ripped raw; tragedy, revenge, a ruin of lives.
Yet, while all that is important, what about anger’s more faded hues? Within the lesser forms of rage is where I struggle: being annoyed, irritable or inexplicably moody. These are forms of anger that seem rather trivial. It’s the groan over a late train or lukewarm coffee. It’s tutting at someone who’s jumped the queue.
Irritated is a squalid, petty feeling and not one I like to admit to. Yet I can’t deny that, despite my pure intentions, I get annoyed, scowling at an early alarm or misplaced keys. Once the irks have left me, I feel bad about my over-the-top reaction and guilty for grumbling at dents to my day when big, rage[1]inducing injustices are happening everywhere.
All the same, annoyance appears to be a human reaction. Can you honestly say you have never been grumpy, unreasonable, or irritated? So, here’s a thought: perhaps, just as with anger, I can learn to accept and embrace being annoyed. Maybe that would be more helpful than adding it to an ever-expanding list of things not to do.
In fact, annoyance is huge. Maybe it, too, could be storm[1]massed clouds and hearts ripped raw – except with annoyance, the drama of rage is parsed into manageable flashpoints of irritation, directed away from its true target, whatever that might be. Anger at world-shattering injustices or personal tragedy simmers in sighs, groans and derisive sniffs. Perhaps if people didn’t get annoyed, their emotions would be too hot to handle. Perhaps annoyance is a sign, not that someone is a bad human, but that they have a deep, bubbling passion that needs to surface.
I’ve made a decision. I’m going to acknowledge and embrace my inner grouch and at the same time recognise the signal it’s sending me: to healthily release the anger it represents. That dark muttering over lost keys or a late train is the outward expression of a secret storm, massing clouds behind what seems to be another rainy day.
TIPS FOR EMBRACING AN INNER GROUCH
- When safe to do so, sing loudly, at the top of your voice, without fretting as to your tunefulness.
- Go to a yoga class, where chanting forms a core part of the practice.
- Climb an empty hillside and shout into the wind.
- Do an intense physical workout that allows annoyance to have an appropriate outlet.
- Try martial arts to express rage in a healthy way.
- Recognise flashpoints of annoyance and accept them as a part of being human. They’re broken-up pieces of rage, expressed in a minor key.
