Embracing rest to improve wellbeing

When sleep evades you, it’s mind over matter. But is there another way?

The power of restful nights over sleepless ones

If you ever find yourself tossing and turning in the small hours of the night, it can feel like you’re the only person in the world left awake – but rest assured you’re not alone. It’s normal to experience the occasional poor night’s sleep, and it’s thought that around 30 percent of adults experience more chronic insomnia. Sleeplessness also commonly affects older people, women during pregnancy or menopause, and teenagers. But if you’re struggling to get some shut-eye it can sometimes feel like it’s a case of mind over matter. The more you worry about it, the worse it seems to get, and you might find yourself succumbing to a vicious circle of ruminative thoughts. So, instead of putting pressure on yourself to chase the concept of a good night’s sleep, how about changing the focus to aiming for a restful night instead?

Shifting focus: embrace rest when sleep won’t come

At bedtime, there can feel like there are only two options: you can either fall asleep or spend a night restlessly tossing and turning with insomnia. But there is a third option… you can rest. If you’re struggling to sleep, rather than becoming fixated on not sleeping and all that entails, such as poor performance the next day, feeling exhausted, and watching the clock, you can choose to rest instead. Rest can be defined as refreshing oneself by ceasing any mental or physical exertion and doing something relaxing in order to restore and recharge. It can involve lying down and dozing, but it could also be the escapism of reading a novel, sitting in quiet meditation, or even making a warm drink and gazing out of the window at the stars. If you find yourself struggling to sleep, purposely doing something restful could be better for your wellbeing than allowing a worry cycle to kick in. You might stay in bed and do a breathing exercise, count your blessings, or you could get up and move to a cosy chair with a blanket to journal, knit, listen to a soothing podcast, or read a chapter of a book.

How stress impacts sleep & restful alternatives

Trying to sleep, and becoming stressed or anxious if it doesn’t come, can trigger the body’s stress hormones. According to SleepDoctor.com, stress and sleep have a two-way relationship. Stress can lead to sleep loss, but insomnia can also increase stress. So, if you’re lying in bed fretting about being awake, you might be flooding your body with stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol, putting yourself into a state of fight-or-flight. Your muscles might be tense, your breathing shallow, and your blood pressure could even be affected. All these physical changes make it even harder to nod off, as well as increasing the likelihood of feeling anxious and unable to cope with the challenges that the following day might bring. On the flip side, if you choose to do something deliberately restful during a sleepless night, you’re more likely to trigger your body’s parasympathetic nervous system, often referred to as the rest-and-digest system, which lowers heart rate, soothes nerves, and promotes feelings of calm. This way, even if you stay wakeful, you’ll be more likely to cope with the next day’s commitments.

A three-step approach to a peaceful night

Dr Neil Stanley, sleep expert and author of How to Sleep Well, advises people to focus on three steps: a bedroom conducive to sleep, a relaxed body, and a quiet mind. If you’re struggling with the second and third steps, it can help to try getting up and doing something gently restful. ‘The key is finding out what works for you,’ says Neil. ‘People are all individual, so what one person finds relaxing won’t necessarily work for another. There’s nothing more annoying when you’re worked up than somebody telling you to “just relax”. But actually, this is the age of information overload. Many people go through their days being exposed to more stuff and information than they were ever designed to process, so learning how to build in periods of quiet, calming rest is vital.’

Neil is quick to point out that there is a difference between rest and sleep, and that good quality sleep is crucial to health. Rest isn’t a substitute for sleep, but it can be a useful Plan B when the latter won’t come. ‘If you are relaxed and restful, then sleep will come when you need it. In the meantime, it’s much better to do something relaxing than to feel like you’re fighting with the world and fighting to get to sleep.’

The gentle art of relaxing into sleep

American author John Green wrote in The Fault in Our Stars: ‘I fell in love like you would fall asleep; slowly and then all at once.’ Indeed sleep does seem to come more easily when it is gently wooed, rather than chased, and learning what activities you find restful for those times when sleep doesn’t come naturally is valuable.

Building daily calm for better sleep health

Melissa Makan is a yoga nidra trainer and says that being able to put yourself into a state of deep rest is important for your health. ‘If you’re living a stressful, high-energy, and demanding life during the day, how can you expect to be able to go straight to sleep at night?’ she asks. ‘You’re going to lie there and your body is going to serve up everything that is playing on your mind – all your worries and stresses. Building restful practices into your day, and teaching your mind and body that it’s OK to be still, and to feel calm, will make it easier to sleep at night. Sleep hygiene shouldn’t just start as you wind down for bed. It should begin from the moment you get up in the morning.’

Embracing rest as a path to better wellbeing

Taking 10-minute meditation breaks during the day, doing stretching or breathing exercises, or walking in nature are all examples of ways you could build regular rest into your schedule. Melissa adds that ‘it’s about giving yourself moments of calm. You have to train yourself to believe it’s OK and that you deserve to rest. Stay still and let go.’

So, if you’re going through a period where sleep is proving elusive, try shifting your focus to rest instead. Build breaks into your day-to-day life and choose to do something relaxing during times of sleeplessness at night. It might transform the way you feel about bedtime.

WORDS: Jade Beecroft


This article was originally published under the title Rest, Assured in Breathe Magazine Issue 47 - In Pursuit of Happiness - View Magazine

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